Can I Keep Him Mom?
by Seal1
Summary: My life used to be very peaceful. Until some unexpected long term guests dropped by!
1. Default Chapter

Can I Keep Him Mom?  
  
Chapter 1  
  
A Peregrin in a Pecan Tree  
  
A/N: I thought I was all alone. I really did. Until I was wandering through the Fanfiction.net website one day looking for harmless entertainment, and what to my wondering eyes did I see but a story by the incredible alliwantisanelfforchristmas describing her life with Prince Legolas. She flat out states that her story is non-fiction, and I believe her. I may be the only other person on earth who has such a GOOD reason to believe her. You see, I also have a little visitor from Middle-earth in my house. Actually there are three. Three darling, wonderful, pesky..wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Suffice it to say, this story is absolute truth, and if you won't believe me, maybe you'll believe the little people hovering at my shoulders to make sure this is told correctly. Let's begin, shall we?  
  
It all started on a lovely, sunny afternoon in April. Being a reasonable mother, I had firmly chased all three children (I'll just call them JJ-age 6, Brittany-8 and Lily-10) out to the woods behind our house to play. I had just finished mixing the batter for brownies when the backdoor slammed shut and JJ rounded the corner, for once not covered in dirt.  
  
"Mommy, I found a new friend!" he announced with excitement. At six years old, all the world is a friend, including tree frogs and centipedes, so I greeted this news with some trepidation.  
  
"Oh? Where does he live?" I thought I knew all the children on our block. They seemed to travel in age level packs, and I didn't remember any houses for sale recently.  
  
"In our tree house. And he's awful hungry Mom," JJ finished with a hopeful look beaming from his face.  
  
Our tree house? The one my husband built in the pecan tree behind our house? There was a child. . . no wait, he never said his new friend was a child. There was a person living in our tree house? Maybe I'd better meet this 'friend'.  
  
"JJ, honey, why don't you introduce this person to me," I said in a rather strangled tone, surreptitiously reaching for the cordless phone in case I needed to call for help quickly.  
  
"OK, Mom." He turned and bounced to the backdoor happily, with me close behind.  
  
Peering around the corner of the door onto our porch, I was relieved to see that JJ's new friend was just about his height and, from the back at least, seemed to have an adorable mop of tousled blondish curls. ~How cute!~ I thought.  
  
"Hey Friend, my mom wants to meet you," JJ said, coming up behind the boy.  
  
That is when my life changed forever. You see, just before he turned around, I noticed that JJ's friend was dressed, well, to put it kindly, very oddly. You don't see too many little boys in this area of the world wearing heavy jackets and matching pants. At least not to go out to play. And to top that off, even though he had a jacket on, his feet were bare. Someone was not taking care of this. . .  
  
"OH MY!!!"  
  
I couldn't help myself. Really, I couldn't. When he turned around, it became obvious that JJ's friend was no little boy! I slowly sank to the stoop, phone falling from my suddenly nerveless fingers. "JJ, would you please go inside for a few minutes? Put Midnight in the guest room for me so he doesn't hurt your friend."  
  
"Ok, Mommy." JJ bounced away happily. Thank heavens he usually does what he's told to.  
  
I stared in utter bewilderment at my unexpected guest, who looked back at me with big, grayish green eyes set in a very woebegone little face.  
  
"Peregrin Took?" I asked quietly, hardly daring to breathe.  
  
His face looked slightly confused as he slowly nodded at me.  
  
"Have we met, Lady?" he asked, obviously unsure of how I knew him.  
  
"Um, not formally, I'm afraid. How in the world did you get here?"  
  
"I don't know. One minute I was around the campfire with everyone else, and the next I was in your tree," he answered. "Are you an elf, Lady? I've heard they live in trees."  
  
"No, I'm not, see?" I said as I lifted the hair away from my ear. "No point. "  
  
I surveyed him a moment more as he nervously fidgeted with his scarf. "JJ said you were hungry, when was the last time you ate?"  
  
"I think it was yesterday. Dunno how long it took to get here," he answered.  
  
"Well, why don't you come inside and I'll find something for you to eat. Then we can try and figure out what to do," I said, leading the way into the house, closely followed by a sweet little being I had assumed was nothing more than a fictional character.  
  
~What do you feed a hobbit?~ I mused as we entered the kitchen. ~Hmmmm. Peanut butter? Somehow I doubt they have peanut butter in Middle-earth. Perhaps a turkey sandwich? Worth a try~ I thought, reaching for the package of meat and the mayonnaise.  
  
"Mommy, can I have a snack too?" JJ asked as he came in and sat next to Pippin at the table.  
  
"Do you want peanut butter and jelly, or turkey?"  
  
"P'butter please," came the not unexpected reply.  
  
As I hurriedly finished making the sandwiches, one for JJ and two for our visitor, I heard an unearthly scream from the front yard and the dreaded words.. . .  
  
"Mom! Come quick!"  
  
Visions of children falling out of trees danced in my head as I thumped the plates on the table and took off at top speed for the front door. What else could happen!?  
  
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A/N Sorry this ends so abruptly, you'll see why when I get to the next chapter..Pippin! Be careful, don't...too late. Sigh. 


	2. A Ringbearer in the Rose Garden

A Ringbearer in the Rose Garden  
  
A/N You don't suppose Peter Jackson would be interested in having some authentic hobbits pay him a visit, do you? They are sweet beyond belief, but I don't know how much longer I can keep up with their appetites! Help!  
  
Thoughts are in ~ ~'s.  
  
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Flying toward the front door, I completely forgot to consider the possible presence of small animals in my path. It was inevitable that our cat, imaginatively named Fluffy, would be in the way. I hooked my foot under her furry body and sent both of us flying. Luckily for her, I landed on my back and she landed on top of me! Unluckily for her, she got the ride of her life as we slalomed together down the front hallway, shuttling discarded backpacks and shoes and toys out of the way with my body. I can only imagine the tales she is telling the neighborhood felines about this incident! We came to a gentle stop just short of the screened in front door.  
  
In the time it had taken the cat and I to single handedly invent a new Olympic sport, my eldest daughter Lily had managed to get herself under some amount of control and was standing outside the door peering in through the screen. She looked surprised to see her mother stretched out on the floor.  
  
"Mom, are you OK?"  
  
"Fine dear, fine, just taking the cat for a little ride," I said nonchalantly, trying to pass off my escapade as intentional. All I received in return was the look of disbelief any mother of a pre-teen daughter will recognize as meaning 'My mother is the weirdest person on earth, I'll just humor her.'  
  
Our house is set back from the street at the end of a cul-de-sac. One of the things I've always loved about it is the rose garden in front. You see, I am one of the worst gardeners you'll ever find. I can kill any poor plant unwise enough to find its way into my house in a matter of days. However, there is one plant that I can grow, quite well as a matter of fact. Roses! Anyway, we have various colors of rose bushes planted near the front of our house. Over the years they have grown to be extremely large. Large enough for a small child to hide under, if he can figure out how to get past all the thorns.  
  
Given my track record with gardening. I am also extremely protective of those plants. The idea that something was messing with them was very disturbing, to put it mildly.  
  
"What kind of thing?" I asked as I detached Fluffy's claws from my shoulder, put her on the floor, and opened the door.  
  
"Just a . . . thing, Mom. It's sort of dark brown and, um, furry, and, um, it's not really moving much or making any noise, just shivering, sort of," Lily explained as she led the way to my prized purple rose.  
  
I couldn't help but notice several branches broken off the back of the bush as we walked toward it. ~Grrr! That's my favorite bush!~ The next thing I noticed was Brittany, my younger daughter, standing next to it with a wooden pole in her hand.  
  
"Britt, what are you doing with that pole?" I asked as we approached.  
  
"I didn't want it to bite me, so I thought I'd throw a stick for it to chase if it came out from under the bush," she explained as she stared fixedly at the object in question.  
  
"Does it look that dangerous?" I knelt down next to the broken branches. "Why don't you two go stand next to the steps." I waited until they had reached the front stairs to lean over and peer under the bush.  
  
The first thing I saw was a pile of dirty, brownish, reddish cloth. It looked like someone had put a dark, curly wig on top of it. ~Great, someone's been throwing their trash in my yard,~ was my first thought. Reaching out a not too gentle hand (I was seriously irritated at the thought of someone using our yard as a garbage dump), I grabbed the wig and gave it a good pull, expecting it to come right out of the bush. Instead, a loud shriek split the air and a small, very grubby hand frantically grabbed mine! I instantly dropped the 'wig' and fell back in astonishment!  
  
"Mommy, are you alright?" Brittany asked, running up, waving her stick and coming perilously close to hitting me in the head. Lily chose the path of prudence and stayed by the stairs.  
  
"No, no, it didn't bite me. Why don't you leave your stick here, though, just in case I need it." I sat in the dirt where I'd fallen, considering my next move. ~Obviously a small child . . .oh no, it couldn't be. Not two of them in one day!~  
  
Leaning over slowly, I looked under the bush to find that the pile of rags was in just about the same position. ~Now what? I don't want to scare him any more than I already have. How do you unterrify a terrified hobbit?~ I watched the pile carefully as I considered different options, and noticed that, while it wasn't making any noise, the fabric was shivering convulsively.  
  
Coming to a decision, I leaned forward and reached as far as I could under the bush, acquiring several nice scratches in the process. I gently wrapped my arms around the bundle. It started in surprise, and then lay quietly in my arms.  
  
"I'm not going to hurt you," I said as I felt his breathing slowly quiet. I sat on the ground cuddling the shivering bundle of cloths for a few more minutes before I felt him stir. Looking down, I saw the brown curls slowly moving and falling away from a weary and tear-stained little face dominated by cloudy blue eyes.  
  
"Would you like to come inside?" I asked, slowly leaning back on my knees. "I think there is someone in the kitchen who would be delighted to see you."  
  
He looked at me in puzzlement, but evidently decided that I was safe, if deranged. He slowly unfolded himself from his very cramped position. ~How in the world did he get in that position in the first place? I would have been on crutches for weeks if I'd tried to do that!~  
  
When I backed up to give him some room to get up, I realized I had forgotten two very curious little girls who were watching the action with extreme interest. I have been a mother long enough to know that the whole neighborhood would know about Frodo in nothing flat if I let them get a look at him while we were outside. They have very loud voices. My husband says that they take after me in that regard. I, however, am not convinced.  
  
"Girls, would you please go put the tea kettle on and get out the tea bags?" I said, as I moved in front of where Frodo was getting to his feet. "I'll be in shortly."  
  
"Sure, Mom," Lily said, leading Brittany up the steps and in the door.  
  
I turned around to see my newest guest looking in a bewildered manner at the house and the street.  
  
"Frodo," I said, as I put an arm around his shoulders, "let's go in the house."  
  
It was some measure of his state of mind that he didn't notice I had used his name before we were introduced. We moved slowly across the yard and up the steps, reaching the door in time to hear a muffled shriek and the sound of breaking glass!  
  
"Oh no!" I yanked the door open and started to run toward the kitchen. I was about half way down the entryway when I realized that Frodo wasn't behind me. Whipping my body around, I saw him standing quietly just inside the door on the mat we had placed there. It was intended, somewhat unrealistically, as a shoe wiper. Its clean state attested to its lack of use. I ran back and grabbed his hand, towing him rapidly toward the kitchen, where I could hear an escalating argument.  
  
We entered the kitchen to find total chaos! Brittany and Lily were standing on top of the counters looking down on the remains of the brownie batter bowl and shouting at their brother. JJ was hovering protectively over his new friend, who was sitting on the floor smiling cheerily at me with a chocolate smudged face. ~Wait, a chocolate smudged face? I don't remember giving him chocolate!~  
  
"Quiet, all of you!" I said in my best drill sergeant voice. "What is going on here?"  
  
"Mommy, the girls yelled at my friend, and we dropped the bowl and it smashed," JJ said, managing to get several words in ahead of the girls.  
  
"Mom, we came in and he and his friend were licking the bowl. We didn't mean to scare them!" Brittany nodded as Lily gave their side of the story.  
  
"JJ, what were you and Pippin doing eating the brownie batter? You know you're not supposed to lick the bowl until after the brownies are in the pan."  
  
"Well, Pippin was still hungry, and I thought he might like some, so I just gave him a little taste, and then the next thing I knew we were sort of eating it all up," JJ explained carefully, making sure that he got all the details correct.  
  
"Pippin!" Frodo exclaimed as he pushed past me into the kitchen, obviously delighted to see someone familiar.  
  
"Wait!" I cried, grabbing him just before he put his foot down on a large piece of glass. "Don't move, you don't want to get glass in your feet. Frodo, you stand over there in the dining room and I'll bring Pippin over to you.  
  
Frodo quickly reversed course and stood in the doorway between the kitchen and the dining room, while I reached down and hefted Mr. Took from the floor. Hobbits are a lot heavier than they look! We managed to make it back over to the clear area without my dropping him, and I deposited him next to his cousin. Frodo promptly wrapped him in a warm hug.  
  
While I moved JJ out of the way, I couldn't help but notice that, even though he was the same height as the hobbits, he weighed considerably less.  
  
"Girls, stay where you are while I clean this mess up. JJ, would you please go wash your face and hands? Wait, take our two visitors with you too, so they can wash also."  
  
"OK, Mommy. The bathroom is this way, guys." JJ headed off to the nearest bathroom to scrape about half a bowl of brownie batter off his person, followed closely by Pippin. Frodo glanced in my direction as JJ turned and left the room, and I nodded my head, trying to let him know that it was all right to go with JJ. He seemed to understand, trailing off after them without speaking a word. Hopefully they wouldn't be shy about asking JJ any questions they might have about the plumbing and how to use it. I had the feeling that at least one of the hobbits might have felt a bit inhibited about asking a grown woman that sort of question. I know this grown woman would have been the color of a red delicious apple if he'd tried!  
  
I could hear the whispered conference going on above me as the girls watched me pick up the pieces of glass on the floor. I wasn't too surprised when Lily spoke up.  
  
"Mom, are those really . . .hobbits?" There was a definite tone of disbelief in her voice, and I didn't blame her a bit. I'd been in a state of disbelief since JJ brought his friend home.  
  
"It certainly seems like it dear. They're about the right height, have curly hair and big hairy feet," I replied as I checked to see that all the large pieces of glass were up.  
  
"But I don't understand, aren't they supposed to be characters in a movie?" Brittany asked, obviously confused.  
  
"Don't forget the books, Britt," Lilly reminded.  
  
"I don't have any answers for you, girls. When they come back with JJ, we'll sit down and try to figure out what's going on. What I need you to do right now is keep this quiet. You can tell your friends we have visitors, but let's not let anyone know just exactly who these visitors are."  
  
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A/N Great big, huge thanks to al for her excellent beta skills. . . . it's a good thing green is one of my favorite colors! 


	3. Bubbles on the Floor

I have changed the first two chapters very slightly so that they will fit better with where the story is going. Thank you to Al for her beta work, and to my hubby Burt for the ideas he extended.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I will be happy to time-share them with any qualified person who applies. Keep in mind that at least one extra eye and two more hands are needed to keep up with these loveable whirlwinds!  
  
A/N: Thought appear between the ~ ~'s.  
  
Chapter 3  
Bubbles on the Floor  
  
I suddenly realized as I was mopping the kitchen floor that the house was quiet. Too quiet! I decided I'd better find JJ, Pippin, and Frodo, and see how the washing was going.  
  
"Lily, would you please finish mopping the floor? I think I'd better see what the boys are up to," I said, handing the mop to my reluctant daughter.  
  
"Mom." she started to whine.  
  
"Lily, stop right there. You are whining, and I'm not going to argue the point. Take the mop. When you're done, you and Brittany can go watch a video." I forced the mop handle into Lily's hands and took off toward JJ's bathroom, hoping against hope that they were just absorbed in the wonders of modern plumbing.  
  
JJ's bathroom was in the same condition it had been when he left for school this morning. Obviously they hadn't been in this bathroom. That left the bathroom by the kitchen, and the two upstairs. ~They couldn't get to the one off the kitchen because of the broken glass on the floor~ I mused as I headed back toward the kitchen to see how the mopping was going.  
  
Lily had finished in the kitchen, and was flopped on the living room floor watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerers stone yet again. Brittany had taken up her favorite position: feet on a chair, head on the floor. ~Why that child doesn't have a permanent crick in her neck I'll never know.~  
  
The further up the stairs I went the more ominous the silence became. The two hobbits had come very abruptly. What if they returned to Middle Earth just as abruptly, taking my son with them? My heartbeat quickened as I jumped up the last few stairs and skidded through the doorway to the girls' bathroom. Empty silence greeted me, which left the master bathroom.  
  
I could faintly hear strange sounds coming from my bathroom as I headed at top speed down the hallway toward the master bedroom. It sounded like a cross between an asthmatic duck and a squeaky hinge! Just as my hand touched the doorknob I heard Frodo say:  
  
"Pippin, I don't think that's how you use it! Stop!"  
  
The sight that met my eyes was, well, chaotic to say the least! JJ had retreated to a position of relative safety on top of the toilet, while Frodo was standing on the rug in the middle of the floor. Various bath oils and beads from my collection reposed in reckless abandon on the floor, jumbled up in a hopeless mixture that would be quite impossible to sort. The hand soap container had tipped over and soap was dripping in a constant stream from the counter to the floor.  
  
Pippin, however, was a sight to behold! Somehow he had managed to scale up the side of the tub until he was standing on top of the faucets. From there, he was able to reach the showerhead. How do I know this? He had the showerhead in one hand, and was peering with great interest into the end of the pipe. Someone had turned the water on in the tub, and it was half full, which explained the asthmatic duck sound. Without the showerhead on the pipes make the oddest sounds!  
  
By the time I had taken in these sights, JJ noticed me standing in the doorway.  
  
"Mommy, I didn't do it!. We were washing our hands, and then, Pippin opened the cabinet, and I told him you wouldn't like it, but he ignored me, and then he started opening all the bottles up. And then he put them on the counter, and Frodo slipped and knocked the bottles on the floor, and then the room was like this!" My poor son looked like he'd been caught in a tornado. Come to think of it, my poor bathroom looked like that too!  
  
Pippin, hearing JJ's explanation to me, turned around too quickly, and fell into the tub with a loud 'splash', sending water cascading all over the floor and past my feet into the master bedroom. The fully carpeted master bedroom.  
  
Frodo leaped forward to help his cousin out of the water. Unfortunately, the bath products on the floor made it very slippery. He did a break dance sequence worthy of Michael Jackson in his prime across the floor, ending with a magnificent belly flop into the tub on top of Pippin.  
  
JJ stayed where he was watching the hobbit acrobatics with saucer-sized eyes. I really couldn't help laughing as I carefully helped the two soggy hobbits out of the tub. Who knew Frodo could dance like that, or that Pippin was such an accomplished faucet climber?  
  
"JJ, I'm going to carry you over to the door. I want you to go down to your room and get some of your clothes for Frodo and Pippin. Make sure you get pants and shirts for each of them. That means two shirts and two pairs of pants. Don't forget the underwear." I reached for JJ as I talked, and very carefully swung him over the mess on the floor, past the shivering hobbits, and to the door.  
  
JJ just nodded as he left the room. I could here him thumping down the stairs as I turned and regarded Frodo and Pippin.  
  
"Wait here, don't touch anything! I'll be right back with some towels", I said as I turned and went to the linen closet in the hall. I was pleasantly surprised to see that they hadn't moved when I returned with several fluffy towels and a bath mat.  
  
I handed each of them a towel, telling them to wrap up in the towels as I spread the mat on the floor. Now they could wipe their feet before they tracked bath salts all over the house. ~What a sight that would be. Big purpley-blue hobbit footprints all over the second floor of the house!~  
  
Once both hobbits were reasonably dry and had wiped their feet, I led them to my walk in closet. JJ walked in, arms loaded down with clothes, as I opened the door and turned on the light.  
  
"Bring the clothes in here JJ," I said, beckoning him to the closet. "Frodo, Pippin, come in, you can change in here."  
  
Out of the corner of my eye I could see Frodo whispering to Pippin as I sorted through the clothes JJ had brought. He'd done surprisingly well! There was a blue Bob the Builder shirt and a red Scooby Doo shirt, one pair of blue jeans with elastic waist, and one pair of black sweat pants. Ah, and two pairs of underwear. JJ was obviously impressed with the visitors, he'd chosen to gift them with his favorite Spiderman underwear! He watched with interest from the corner of the closet near the shoe rack as I laid out the clothing.  
  
"Frodo, would you like to have the red shirt or the blue shirt?" I asked, figuring that age had its privileges.  
  
"Blue please," he said quietly, eyeing the odd clothing with a bemused look on his face.  
  
I handed the blue shirt and blue jeans to him, followed by a pair of underwear. That left the red for Pippin, who watched quietly, hands held together in front of him.  
  
"When I leave you can take your wet clothes off and put these on." I held up the underwear and said "these go on first, with the picture in the back. Frodo, your pants," I paused as I held the jeans up, "snap in the front. "Pippin, the tag goes in back on your pants. Both the shirts have pictures on the front, and the tags go in the back. JJ, you stay here and help them if they need it." I turned to go, but paused as I put my hand on the doorknob. "I'll wait for you out here, I think we need to have a talk."  
  
~Now what?~ I mused as I wandered across the bedroom to the door of the bathroom. I surveyed the damage again, and reaching for the door closed it gently on the disaster inside. I could deal with that later. My feet squelched on the wet carpet as I walked back to the linen closet and retrieved more towels. At least they would absorb some of the water on the carpeting.  
  
There was still no sign of the hobbits when I finished blotting the carpet, just some odd thumps from the closet, and a sharp exclamation, quickly cut off.  
  
"Is everything alright in there?" I asked as I knocked on the door.  
  
"Yes Mommy." JJ's voice drifted through the door. He sounded as though he'd been laughing.  
  
I retreated to the bed to think as I waited for Frodo and Pippin. ~How confused they must be, suddenly thrust into a completely different world.~  
  
My thoughts were interrupted just then by the phone ringing. Yet another example of something the hobbits had no knowledge of.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi honey, I've just got one more sample to run, then I'm leaving. Do you still want me to pick up pizza on the way home?" My husband, Steve, is a chemist. One more sample to run could mean he'd be walking out the door of the lab anytime between 10 minutes from now and an hour from now.  
  
"Yep! When should I call Pizza Palace to place the order?" I asked.  
  
"The sample's just coming out now, why don't you call after we hang up." I could hear glassware clinking in the background as he answered. "Did you have a good day?"  
  
"Uhm..I'll tell you about it when you get home." No way was I going to try and explain this afternoon's happenings over the phone! Being an analytical kind of guy, I think he'd find it hard to believe. Better to just confront him with the evidence before his eyes.  
  
"Okay, love you!"  
  
"Love you too." I hung up the phone slowly, mind occupied with confused thoughts. ~What is the best way to tell Ben about our hobbits. Line them up at the door as he walks in? Tell the tale and then introduce them? What type of topping does a hobbit like on their pizza? Mushrooms of course, but what else? One thing's for sure, whatever I order, there had better be plenty of them!~ 


	4. Pizza by the Pound

Author Note: This has been a very long time coming, for that I apologize. I hit a nasty writers block, and wasn't able to break it for a long time. Pair that with working much more than I expected to, and you'll see why it's been so long! I won't promise another chapter quickly, because I don't like to break promises. I will try to have it out soon though. At least it's already outlined! Thank you to my lovely husband Burt, who kindly proof read and offered ideas on where to go with the story line. Any grammatical errors are my own!  
  
As always, character's thoughts are between the ~'s.  
  
Pizza by the Pound  
  
The door to the closet slowly opened as I hung up the phone. Two neatly dressed hobbits stepped out and looked around the room, followed by my son. I sat quietly on my bed, looking at them and wondering what in the world I was going to do next. Frodo, who was standing slightly in front of his cousin, met my eyes and returned my gaze with a contemplative stare of his own. Pippin, however, caught sight of my dresser and immediately headed for it.  
  
My dresser is one of my favorite pieces of furniture. You see, I inherited it from my grandmother. The children all know not to touch it, partly because it's one of the few things I have to remember Grandma by, and partly because of the collection of antique perfume bottles I have displayed on top of it. Crystal antique perfume bottles. I have them placed so the afternoon sun shines through a window near them and sets off a series of rainbows throughout the room. The bottles had apparently caught Pippin's attention.  
  
I watched Pippin's progress toward the dresser, waiting until he was reaching out a hand to touch it to say "Pippin, please don't touch that."  
  
Pippin whipped his hands behind his back and turned to face me, his face a study in guilt.  
  
Frodo walked over to Pippin, grabbed his hand, and dragged him over to the bed where I was sitting. His face was set in an anxious frown, while Pippin looked over his shoulder at the forbidden furniture.  
  
"Pippin has something he wishes to say to you." Frodo gave Pippin an encouraging little shove, urging him toward me. Pippin looked at the ground, then back up at his cousin. "Go ahead Pip."  
  
Pippin turned big, remorseful eyes on me and said "I'm sorry for making a mess lady. I won't do it again." By now he was looking back at the floor, shuffling his furry feet on the carpet and twisting his hands together in front of himself, just like my son does when he knows he's done something wrong and doesn't quite know how to make up for it. My heart melted again. How can you possibly stay mad at something so cute? Especially when it's not your child, and you don't have to preserve discipline? I would learn to my sorrow that discipline is the first thing you need around Pippin Took. No, make that the third, patience and fortitude being the first two!  
  
I heaved a sigh, patted Pippin on the top of his curly head, and gave in. "Pippin, I'm not mad at you, I know you were curious about what the jars and bottles contained." A movement by the hallway door caught my attention and I looked over in time to see AJ slipping unobtrusively out of the room. Just as well. We needed to talk, and it would be easier to have a conversation without a six year old interrupting.  
  
"Why don't you both sit down over there," I said, pointing toward the window seat across from me, "and we can try and figure out what's going on." Frodo led his cousin over to the window seat, helped him up to it, and then climbed up himself. The both sat, hands clasped in their laps, looking at me.  
  
"I don't quite know where to start," I confessed, looking at Frodo. "I suppose my first question is how did you get here?"  
  
Frodo looked at me intently for a moment, seeming to consider his words carefully before speaking. "I'm not sure."  
  
That statement could mean a variety of things, I mused. It could mean that he really wasn't sure what had happened, which I suspected was true. It could also mean that he wasn't sure how much he could tell me, and that could be equally true. I noticed that Pippin had moved closer to Frodo as I thought, and was practically sitting on his lap. He looked as though he was afraid of something.  
  
"Is something wrong, Pippin?"  
  
Pippin looked at his older cousin, waiting for him to nod that it was alright to speak before turning back to me and saying "No lady."  
  
"My name is Susan, you can call me that Pippin. No 'lady' is necessary in this place." I could already tell that the word 'lady' would get old in a hurry. If the hobbits were going to be here for any length of time, they would need to call me something other than that if they weren't going to attract any attention. Any more attention that is.  
  
"Where is here, la-er-Susan?" I smiled at Frodo's correction.  
  
"That's a little hard to explain. I'm not sure you're familiar with our country names. You are in my house, which is in the town of Lake Illusion. My town is in the state of Texas, and the country of the United States of America." I paused to see if they were following what I was saying at all. Frodo had his forehead wrinkled as he tried to take in the information, Pippin just looked blank. "I take it you haven't heard of any of those places?"  
  
Frodo shook his head slowly, obviously discomfited with the idea that he didn't know where he was. We sat silently for awhile as I considered what I should do next. A sudden thought occurred to me, and I reached for the phone.  
  
"Excuse me a moment, I need to tell my husband something." Both hobbits watched in fascination as I picked up the phone receiver and dialed Steve's work number.  
  
"This is a phone, it allows people to talk over long distances." I turned my attention back to the receiver as Steve answered. "Hi honey, I'm glad you haven't left."  
  
"I was just getting ready to call you and let you know I'm leaving." Steve sounded tired, it must have been a busy day.  
  
"I'll go ahead and order the pizza's then. I called because I forgot to warn you that there will be more than our normal number to pick up.." I trailed off, not sure how to tell him why there would be more pizza's than he expected.  
  
"Ahhh, kids have some friends over?" Thank you Steve!  
  
"Yep!" Somehow I didn't think telling him who the guests were on the phone was the best idea in the world.  
  
"Ok. Well I'm walking out the door right now, go ahead and call. Love you!"  
  
"Love you too, honey!" I hung up the phone and reached for the phone book to call the Paolo's Pizza Palace. "What do you two like to eat," I asked, paging through the book.  
  
"Sausages!" Frodo declared instantly.  
  
"Mushrooms!" Pippin added.  
  
"Sausages and mushrooms. Sounds like a winner to me!" I dialed the number, thinking I really should have memorized it by now, and mentally totaled the number of pies we were likely to need. By the time the cashier answered the phone, I was ready.  
  
"I'd like to place a large order. I need 8 large pizza's for pick up. 1 cheese; 2 ham and pineapple; two mushroom; two sausage; and two garden variety. No, no breadsticks. The name is 'Steve'. Thank you." I replaced the receiver and looked over at the two hobbits, who were sitting with wide eyes, listening intently. "I don't suppose you've ever heard of pizza?" They both shook their heads 'no.' "You are in for a treat then! Wait here a minute, I think I have something that may make this easier to explain."  
  
I walked quickly across the landing to the computer room. We store most of the overflow of our books there. I perused the contents of the shelf until I found the item I wanted, the "Atlas of Middle Earth." I grabbed the illustrated "Lord of the Rings" book, which was stored just above it. Carrying the books in one arm, I turned to the built in drawers on the other side of the room. We stored most of our maps in the middle drawer, high enough to keep a curious toddler out of them, and low enough to allow older children access. I reached in, fumbled around for a minute, and pulled out the National Geographic world map we'd bought to help the children with their homework.  
  
To my surprise, they were still sitting on the window seat, talking quietly, when I returned. Frodo looked up as I walked across the room toward them, and quickly hushed Pippin as he started to say something. I wondered what he hadn't wanted overheard. I noticed that Frodo's eyes lit up when he saw the books in my hand, ever the literate hobbit!  
  
"This may help." I knelt before the window seat, opened the "Atlas of Middle Earth" and turned the pages until I reached the map of the Shire. "You'll probably recognize these maps." Frodo hunched over the book, eyes intent as he examined it. "This map is well done," he said appraisingly. "It looks like one Bilbo was working on for awhile."  
  
Pippin, who was sitting with his chin in his hand, suddenly straightened, put a finger on the "Road to Buckland" pictured on the map, and sighed, "I miss Merry." He slowly traced his finger along the road, turning several pages in the process. His finger stopped momentarily when it reached the words "Buckleberry Ferry". His face, solemn for once, turned toward his cousin as he said "That's where the black riders."  
  
"Peregrin Took, remember what we talked about," Frodo interrupted in a rather stern voice.  
  
Pippin looked abashed, closed his mouth, leaned his head on his palm, and looked down at his feet. I thought I knew what he'd been about to say, but now was not the time to go into what I knew, or how I knew it.  
  
We leafed through the pages of the atlas, Frodo occasionally pausing to exclaim over a drawing. Pippin sat quietly, swinging his feet. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that when he wasn't watching the pages of the atlas flutter by, he watched the rainbows creeping across the walls of my room. ~Oh dear, how long are my bottles going to be safe.~  
  
When we reached the last page of the atlas, I set it on my bed and picked up the National Geographic map of the world. "We'll need a large open space to spread this map out." I am fortunate to have something every book lover longs for, but few are able to have. We've set aside one section of the Master bedroom as a reading corner for me. It has a very comfortable rocking chair set next to two large bookcases filled with my favorite stories, a small side table to hold my hot cocoa in the winter, and is next to a large window overlooking the backyard, so I can keep an eye on the kids. I stood up, moved over to the rocking chair, and shoved it back to the wall, creating the space we'd need right in front of the window, which had the afternoon sun streaming through it. I beckoned Frodo and Pippin over.  
  
"This should work," I said, slipping the rubber band off the map and kneeling on the floor as they hopped off the window seat and came over to me. I noticed that Frodo had Pippin by the hand, I'm not sure whether he was trying to reassure the younger hobbit or keep some measure of control over him.  
  
"Come over here, next to me", I said, patting the floor next to my knees. "This is a map of my world." I watched Frodo as I spread the map before them. His eyes widened as he took in the extent of the world he was in. He looked up at me after a moment, the look of disquiet in his eyes broke my heart.  
  
"Susan, I don't recognize any of these places."  
  
Pippin, who had been idly tracing boundary lines looked up at that, clearly unsettled at either the tone of his cousin's voice or the words that he'd said.  
  
"Frodo, are we lost?" Pippin crept a little closer to Frodo as he spoke.  
  
"Yes, Pip, I'm afraid we are." Frodo put his arms reassuringly around his younger cousin. "But wherever we've landed, and however we've gotten here, we still have each other, and I'm sure Gandalf will be looking for us." He turned his attention back to me. "Where on this map are we?"  
  
Time for a modern geography lesson. I leaned forward and put my hand on North America. "This world is divided into what we call continents.large land forms. This is the continent we are on," I pointed to North America. "There are several different countries on this continent. The country we are in at the moment is the United States. The United States is divided into what are called states, they are different sections of the country. See, each one is a different color from the one next to it." I paused to look at Frodo, who was listening intently. Pippin, however, didn't seem to be listening.  
  
"So many?" Frodo seemed to be counting the states.  
  
"There are fifty." His eyes grew round again. "As I said before, we are in the state of Texas, which is here." My finger had trailed down to Texas, tapping it as I spoke." We, my family and I, live here, on what is called the gulf coast." I moved my finger to a place slightly below Houston. "Lake Illusion, which is the name of our town, is about here. Do you." I was about to ask Frodo if he had any questions when we interrupted by a shriek of terror from Pippin. He had found my illustrated "Fellowship of the Ring" book, and was staring at a page, face screwed up in terror. Frodo leaped to Pippin's side, grabbed the book from his hand, and shook him slightly saying:  
  
"Pippin! Pip! What's the matter! What did you see?"  
  
Pippin collapsed into his arms sobbing softly.. I picked up the book, which had landed face up on the floor, open to the page illustrated with a picture of the Nazgul. Poor Pippin!  
  
"I think I know what happened Frodo." I turned the book so that Frodo could see the picture. His shoulders slumped in dismay.  
  
"You have them here too?" Obviously he'd hoped that the Nazgul had been left behind in Middle Earth. At least I could reassure him on that account. Or could I? The thought suddenly struck me that if two hobbits had been tossed into our world, what else could have been?  
  
"Not that I know of. But we don't have hobbits in this world either." I bit my lip as I thought about how to ask Frodo about the ring. I hadn't seen it around his neck, but then I hadn't watched them change. Who knew if the ring would have the same effect on people in this world as it did in Middle Earth. My eye fell on the book in my hand. Ahhhhh! "Frodo, did you notice that I knew who you were without your having to tell me your name?"  
  
Frodo looked at me assessingly for a moment over Pippin's curly head, before nodding his head slowly. "I did notice, and wanted to ask you about it, but the opportune moment hadn't arrived. What is that book?" He nodded toward the book that was now lying open on my lap.  
  
"I knew you because you are a character in a very famous story here, one that I always thought was fictional Recently it's been made into a series of very successful films too." I closed the book and held it up so that he could read the title.  
  
"Fellowship of the Ring?" His hand reached toward the book, taking it from my hand. "This is fiction? But how can it be.I'm real."  
  
"In your world, you are. But in my world, you are from a story. This is the first story of three by the same author that recount your travels. You and your companions.Pippin, Samwise Gamgee, Meriadoc Brandybuck, Aragorn, Gandalf, Legolas the elf, Gimli the dwarf and Boromir of Gondor. The same author wrote about Bilbo's journey in a separate book." Pippin was looking at the book over Frodo's shoulder now.  
  
"Then you know about the.." Frodo paused, his hand creeping unconsciously to his neck as he spoke.  
  
"The ring? Yes I do. Do you still have it?" I watched as Frodo thought for a moment, clearly trying to decide what to say.  
  
"Yes." His hand slowly crept down again, to his lap, and I decided that was enough information for now. After all, I didn't' know exactly where in the journey they'd been when they appeared here. Somewhere between Rivendell and the Mines of Moria judging by their clothes. I could hear the clock chiming as we sat staring at each other, not sure what else to say. I glanced at my watch.  
  
"Good heavens! Steve will be here with dinner any minute now, and I don't have the table set! Why don't you come downstairs with me while I get everything ready for dinner," I said, leaping up and moving quickly to the door.  
  
Frodo looked longingly at the book in my hand. "May I read it?"  
  
I thought for a moment. "As long as you keep in mind that this is a story. I don't know how much of what it portrays about Middle Earth, or your travels, is correct. And you have to promise me that you will put it down if what you are reading worries you."  
  
Frodo stared at me for a minute, turning my words over in his mind. "I will. Come on Pippin."  
  
I handed Frodo the book and they followed me downstairs. I hoped I hadn't made a horrible mistake. 


	5. A Merry Muddle

Chapter 5  
  
As always, I don't own them, just wish I did! This has been a bit delayed, I actually had it ready to go last week, but didn't get it to my editor until after I got back from LA....sorry!  
  
Thanks to Burt, my partner in crime and best cheerleader!  
  
A Merry Muddle  
  
I sighed as I chopped tomatoes and cucumbers for our salad. Glancing up at Pippin, whom I was relieved to see was still kneeling on a bar stool, watching as I prepared the vegetables, I sighed again. What a long day this had become. And how was I going to explain Frodo and Pippin to Steve? He had a nodding acquaintance with Tolkien's books, but was far short of an expert. I looked up again, smiled at Pippin, who smiled a little hesitantly back, and peered around his little body, checking to see where Frodo and the children were. My eyes took in the peaceful scene of three quiet children dispersed through the family room, happily wrapped up in the adventures of the Amanda Show, and one hobbit sitting on the carpet in front of the fireplace in the living room, intently reading the book in his hands. ~What else ...hmm.~ I went to the refrigerator and peered inside, searching for anything else to stick into the salad. ~Ahhhh.. artichoke hearts, that's good, and some mushrooms? Yuck. I'll put them in a bowl, they can add them if they wish. Oh, mozzarella cheese. That ought to do it.~ I closed the refrigerator door with my foot and carried my bounty over to the counter. Pippin watched as I fished the colander out from its home in the cabinet and put it in the sink. His eyes grew round as I opened the package of mushrooms and dumped them in the colander, and turned on the water.  
  
"Frodo," Pippin exclaimed, turning toward his cousin. "Mushrooms grow in little boxes here!"  
  
Frodo humphed a little, apparently to signify that he'd heard, and continued reading. Pippin turned back to the mushrooms, watching as the water poured through the holes.  
  
"Pippin, mushrooms don't grow in boxes, they are just sold in them. I'm sure they are grown much the same way here that they are in the Shire." I smiled slightly, enjoying his innocence.  
  
"Oh." He seemed a bit disappointed in my explanation. There would be plenty of things later on for him to be amazed at.  
  
The gathering gloom outside as the sun set was making it hard to see what I was doing, so I casually flipped the light switch, not thinking about what I was doing.  
  
Pippin let out a loud squeak and disappeared from view.  
  
"Pippin, are you ok?" I peered over the counter, trying to see where he'd gone.  
  
"He's fine Susan." Frodo had looked up from Fellowship of the Ring. "What's making the light? It doesn't look like a candle or a lantern."  
  
"It's called a light, Frodo. It runs on electricity. If you want a more in-depth explanation, you'll have to wait until my husband, Steve, gets home. As long as the light turns on when I flip the switch, I don't concern myself with how it works."  
  
Apparently that explanation satisfied Frodo, because he turned back to his book without further comment. Pippin had climbed back up on the stool by then, and was looking hungrily at the food on the counter.  
  
"Are you hungry Pippin?" I'm a sucker for anyone that's hungry.  
  
"A bit." He was looking longingly at the mushrooms draining in the sink.  
  
"Give me your hands." I tucked a few mushrooms in one hand, and then the same number in the other hand. Hobbit or child, long years as a mother had taught me the wisdom of equal shares. I came around the end of the counter and helped him down, saying "why don't you give one handful to Frodo and eat the other?" I watched as he trotted off to Frodo, who absentmindedly accepted the mushrooms, and just as absentmindedly stuffed them in his mouth.  
  
I grabbed the large salad bowl from the china cabinet on the way back to the kitchen.  
  
A muted grumbling caught my ear as I tore the lettuce into bite sized pieces and put them in the salad bowl. It took a few seconds to realize that Frodo was the one making the sounds. He had sprawled on his stomach on the carpet in front of the fireplace, a frown creasing his brow as he read.  
  
"Is something wrong, Frodo?"  
  
He glanced up at me, still frowning slightly, and tapped the book lightly with a finger. "Whoever wrote this seems to have invented some things."  
  
I opened my mouth, ready to ask Frodo for an example, when I realized Pippin was no longer on the stool in front of me. I leaned over the bar to see if he was behind it. No hobbit there. In fact, no hobbit but Frodo visible in either the living room or the family room.  
  
I paused by Frodo's recumbent form. "Frodo, have you seen Pippin?"  
  
Frodo blinked his eyes as he shifted mental gears, glanced at the bar where Pippin had been, and said "oh no."  
  
He hopped to his feet, book still in hand, and headed for the family room.  
  
"I didn't see him in there, do you think he would be hiding?" I didn't feel familiar enough with the habits of hobbits to know if Pippin was likely to do that.  
  
Frodo thought for a moment, carefully marking his spot in the book with one finger. "No. Perhaps if Merry were here, but even then he's outgrown that foolishness. He usually answers if you call his name."  
  
Frodo moved to the middle of the living room, lifted his chin, and bellowed "Peregrine Took, where are you?" I jumped, surprised at how much volume such a small body could generate.  
  
"Back here."  
  
It sounded like he was in JJ's room. My mind shuddered at the thought of the sheer volume of mess he could make in that room! Like most boys his age, JJ had boxes of K'nex and lego blocks, several large containers of cars with their track systems, and a complete layout of Brio trains.  
  
I headed for JJ's room with Frodo right behind me. We rounded the corner to the back hallway in time to see Pippin starting to open the door to the guest bedroom. The room that JJ had put Midnight in.  
  
"Pippin, don't" I exclaimed as Midnight's nose poked through the crack. I reached the door before the dog could muscle his way through the crack, shoved his nose back, and shut the door in his face. ~Thank heavens I got here in time.~ Midnight is an excellent guard dog, he doesn't like strangers. Once someone's been "introduced" to him, he suffers their presence in his house. Woe betide the unfamiliar first time visitor who tries to pet him. He hasn't managed to take anyone's finger off yet, but a few times it's been closer than I'd like.  
  
"Pippin, what were you thinking?" Frodo sounded more than a little exasperated with his younger cousin.  
  
Pippin shuffled his feet a little while he looked at Frodo. "I heard something crying, I thought it needed help." He looked back toward the closed door. We could hear Midnight whining and scratching at the door in a bid to get out.  
  
I knelt before Pippin, made sure that his eyes were on me, and said "Pippin I'm not mad at you. I know you didn't realize that what you were doing was dangerous. I had JJ put our dog...you do know what a dog is, don't you?" It suddenly occurred to me that while I'd seen a dog in the movie, I didn't remember any mention of one in Tolkein's books. Both Pippin and Frodo nodded, so I continued. "Our dog doesn't like strangers. He's been known to try and bite them, and I didn't want you to get hurt. Would you like to meet him?"  
  
"Are you sure it's safe?" Frodo looked a bit concerned.  
  
"As long as I introduce you to him." I gazed at the two hobbits as they considered what I'd told them. "Frodo, we don't know how long you'll be here, the sooner he starts seeing you as family, the better."  
  
Frodo nodded his head slowly, eyes darkening as he realized that it was possible they might be here for a long time indeed. I opened the door slowly, hand held down in front of Midi's face so that he didn't dash through the door. When it was open enough to get to his collar, I grasped it tightly, and then opened the door the rest of the way. Midnight jumped out of the door, lips pulled back in a snarl as his nose caught the scent of the 'intruders'. Pippin backed up quickly and stood as close to the wall as he could get. Frodo, on the other hand, stood quietly, watching Midi's every move very carefully.  
  
"Frodo, let me have your hand." I held on to Midi with one hand and lightly grasped the hand Frodo extended toward me with the other. "Midnight, this is Frodo. He's a friend. Friend, Midi." I held Frodo's hand right in front of the dog's nose, letting him sniff. "Pippin, come over here please."  
  
Pippin looked like he wasn't too sure he wanted to move, and I really couldn't blame him. Not only was he unfriendly toward strangers, Midnight was also imposing physically. He can look me in the eye when he stands on his hind legs, and weighs over 80 pounds. Pippin watched as Frodo gently stroked Midnight's ears. The dog sat down and leaned himself against Frodo, almost pushing him over. Pippin giggled a little as Midi closed his eyes in bliss and made little huffing noises when Frodo hit a particularly itchy spot.  
  
"See Pip, he's bigger than the dogs at home, but pretty similar." Frodo grinned over at his cousin, continuing to caress the dog. Pippin slowly eased closer to the two of them, and I reached forward to take hold of Midi's collar again.  
  
Midnight's eyes popped open as his nose caught Pippin's scent, and he sat up and stared intently at him while he approached.  
  
"Give me your hand Pippin." I repeated what Frodo and I had done, making sure that Midnight got a good sniff, and then watched while Pippin rubbed under Midi's neck. By the time I left to go back to the kitchen several minutes later, Midnight was lying on his back, all four paws waving in the air as the hobbits scratched his tummy. I glanced at the clock, and was surprised to see it was almost 7:00. Where could Steve be?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Steve yawned as he parked the car in front of the local Pizza Palace and shut off the lights. He grimaced as he slid out of the beat up old car, stopping to stretch his tired back muscles. What a long day.  
  
A few slices of pizza and a glass of cold root beer sounded good about now. He opened the door, letting out a blast of warm, yeast laden air.  
  
"Can I help you, sir?" Steve noticed the cashier had flour daubed here and there about her person. ~Well, every job has its hazards.~  
  
"Yes, my wife called in an order. It should be under the name 'Steve'."  
  
"Let me look." The cashier checked the pizzas stacked on the warming shelves. Not finding what she was looking for, she leaned around the corner of the shelves and yelled back to the baking area. "Mario, you got that big order done yet?"  
  
"Getting the last one out now. By the time you ring him up, David will have them out there," echoed faintly from the back.  
  
The cashier returned to the counter. She tapped the keys as she said under her breath "that's two of the two for one specials, and five others." With a final tap of her keys she said "That will be $52.49 please."  
  
Steve looked at her in disbelief. "What?"  
  
"$52.49 Sir."  
  
"How many pizzas is that?" Steve slowly pulled his wallet out of his pocket and extracted his credit card.  
  
The cashier consulted the order ticket in her hand. "Uhm, two ham and pineapple, two sausage, one cheese, two garden variety and.....ah yes, two mushroom. Nine pizzas."  
  
Steve handed her the card, shocked at both the number of pizzas and the amount of money involved. Just how many kids were at the house. He hadn't forgotten someone's birthday had he?  
  
"Sign here, sir."  
  
Steve came out of his reverie to see the cashier trying to hand him the receipt, his card, and a pen to sign with. Steve signed his name, put the Visa away, and turned toward the chairs in the corner, intending to sit down while he waited for the order. A sudden thought occurred to him on the way there, and he returned to the counter.  
  
"Excuse me, but did you say a mushroom pizza."  
  
She ran a flour covered finger down the order ticket.  
  
"Yes sir, that was two mushroom pizzas."  
  
"Thank you." Steve made his way back to the chairs, puzzled. Susan couldn't stand mushrooms. She occasionally indulged the rest of the family's taste for them, but in 13 years of marriage he couldn't remember her ever ordering a mushroom pizza. Curiouser and curiouser as Alice would say.  
  
The door to the cooking area banged against the wall as a man in an apron backed out of it with a cart loaded with pizzas.  
  
"Where do you want me to put these?"  
  
"My car is out here." Steve held the door while the man wheeled the cart through it. "That black one over there."  
  
He helped put the pizzas on the back seat of the car, and drove home, still wondering whose party he had forgotten. He was pretty sure he hadn't missed anyone's birthday, and their anniversary was in December, so he was safe on that account.  
  
There weren't that many bikes in front of the house when he got home. So it probably wasn't a party for Lily, most of her friends rode their bikes, or rollerbladed, or rode one of those new motorized scooters the kids seemed so fond of. That left JJ or Brittany. Most of JJ's friends would be outside, dark or not, wreaking mayhem as only a horde of little boys can do, but there didn't appear to be anyone outside the house. Most of the lights were on though. That left Brittany. But she'd just had her birthday. He clearly remembered the loud, piercing, shrieks of the 7 girls who'd spent the night. Maybe they came back to find all the things they left behind? All at once? If that was the case, at least they'd be gone soon.  
  
He contemplated the pizzas piled high in the back seat of the car. There was no way he was going to be able to carry them all in at once. Oh wait, what was that by the steps to the door. JJ's wagon, the perfect thing! He could put it on the porch, carry the pizzas over to it a few at a time, and then tow them all into the house! It only took a second to get it on the porch, and a minute or two more to open the front door and pull the heavily laden wagon over the edge and into the hallway. He could hear the sounds of quiet talking coming from the kitchen, and as he headed toward it, towing the wagon behind him, Midnight streaked by him.  
  
He stopped as a small person in a costume ran past him, yelling "Midi, come back, that's my cheese!" There was something odd about the small persons appearance. He didn't look quite like a child. He definitely didn't sound like a child. But he was child height. Steve shook his head in bewilderment and continued on toward the kitchen. Susan was standing in front of the counter, tossing a full salad bowl.  
  
"I'm sorry I'm so late, I had to wait for the pizzas." He leaned over to kiss Susan on the cheek. "Who's party did I forget? And who was that running after Midnight?"  
  
"Oh, here, let's put the pizzas on the table while I explain." Susan led the way to the table. Steve followed, still towing the wagon. How was she going to explain this?  
  
Susan thought furiously as they unloaded the wagon. "You didn't forget anything, we had some unexpected visitors drop in this afternoon." She paused for a moment, thinking. "Why don't you sit down, I'll get you a drink."  
  
"Nine pizzas worth of guests?" Steve sat in one of the chairs, bracing himself mentally for whatever Susan was about to disclose.  
  
"They like to eat. I think. Uhm....there is no way to say this gracefully. Steve, JJ found a new friend in our pecan tree. He was hungry, so JJ brought him in to meet me. His name is Peregrine Took, but he goes by Pippin." Susan paused for a minute, eyes on Steve's face. The only reaction he'd shown so far was to raise an eyebrow, so she continued on. "We were feeding him some sandwiches when I heard the girls screaming outside. There was something under one of my rosebushes. It turned out to be Pippin's cousin, Frodo Baggins." Susan smiled uncertainly at Steve, who was staring at her. "Steve?"  
  
"Give me a moment." Steve sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest as he thought. Susan seemed to be telling him that he had two visitors and nine pizzas in his house. Nine pizzas for two hungry visitors. Visitors whose names were Frodo and Pippin. "Susan, are you trying to tell me that we have two hobbits in our house?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"But they don't exist! They're characters in a series of stories. How can they possibly be here. Do you mean we have actors visiting us?" Steve was grasping at straws and he knew it, but this was a bit hard to process.  
  
"No, Steve, they aren't tall enough to be the actors. They're the real thing." Susan was hunched over in her chair, head leaned wearily on her hand.  
  
Steve sat in his chair, trying to find some logical explanation for the madness that had descended on them all. Well, if there was one thing being a scientist had taught him, it was that there were many things in the universe that were not explainable.  
  
"Excuse me." Steve turned to see an unfamiliar person standing in the doorway with a book in hand. Someone who looked like a miniaturized Elijah Wood in his Frodo ears and wig.  
  
"Oh, Frodo, come in! I want you to meet my husband, Steve. Steve, this is Frodo Baggins." Susan watched the expressions crossing her husband's face as he looked at the undeniable proof in front of his eyes.  
  
"Pleased to meet you, sir." Frodo bowed slightly to Steve, who nodded his head in return.  
  
"Susan, I was wondering if," Frodo's words were interrupted by a horrendous crashing noise from upstairs.  
  
Susan and Steve froze in their seats for a moment in shock. What in the world? They leapt to their feet and ran for the stairs, afraid of what they'd find when they reached the top. Nothing was out of place on the landing. Susan glanced in the doorway to the master bedroom as she sped past the door. Nothing out of place there. She followed Steve down the hallway to the girl's room and the guest room, barreling into his back when he stopped in the girl's doorway.  
  
They had left the light on in their room, as usual, and the sight that met their eyes was nothing short of chaotic. There was a gaping hole in the ceiling above Lily's bed, and a small, dust covered figure sat hunched in the middle of it. Dust and bits of insulation whirled lazily through the air, settling on all the available surfaces. The figure had a strand of Christmas lights wound around itself, and a bit of tinsel hanging over one ear. Susan felt a small body brush past her into the room.  
  
"Merry!" Pippin exclaimed joyously as he ran toward the figure on the bed. 


	6. Drafty Rafters

Chapter 6

Drafty Rafters

A/N: As always, I don't own them, just wish I did! I'm sorry it took so long. Try not to hate me too much!

I sat in my bedroom, looking into the backyard. The light of the nearly full moon bathed it with a cool, blue tinted light. What was normally a cheery, tree strewn space was turned into an area of wonder and mystery by the subdued lighting. I sipped at the hot tea in my hand trying to unwind from the stresses of the day.

A particularly sour note drifted from the shower, distracting me from my thoughts. Steve had his method of unwinding, and I had mine. His involved lots of hot water and singing, mine involved cuddling up with a hot drink and a blanket in front of my window.

I sighed, pulling my blanket closer around me. What an evening. We'd stood in the doors, paralyzed with shock at the sight of Merry huddled on Lily's bed. Pippin pushing past us into the room had been the action that broke us from our stupor.

"Merry! I've missed you so much!" Pippin threw himself on the bed and hugged his cousin.

Frodo walked toward Merry, carefully avoiding the large chunks of ceiling on the floor. "Merry, are you alright?"

Merry slowly turned his face toward Frodo. "Frodo?" he asked in a bewildered voice.

"Merry, are you hurt?" Frodo clambered up on the bed and gently removed the tinsel from Merry's ear.

"No, I don't think so."

By now the children had joined us in the doorway. JJ and Brittany froze, staring in shocked silence at the mayhem in the room. Lily, on the other hand, stormed into what was left of her room.

"Look at my bed," she wailed, stopping by the bed and glaring at the hobbits on it.

Uh oh. I could see she was working herself up for a truly impressive explosion, and moved quickly to try and head it off.

"Lily, it's nothing that can't be fixed. You and Brittany wanted to repaint the room anyway, right?"

She nodded her head absently as her eyes inspected the rest of her room. I knew we were in trouble when I saw her eyes narrow as she leaned around Pippin to look at her night table.

"Oh NO!" Lily scooted past Pippin and scooped something off the floor on the other side of her bed. "Mom! Look what they did to my picture!"

Lily waved a framed picture in front of my face as she spoke. I felt my heart sink as I recognized the frame. Oh dear.

"Wait, Lily, stop waving it around, I can't see it!" She thrust the picture into my hand and turned to glare at Merry, who was still sitting on her bed. Lily had been a devoted Legolas fan since Fellowship of the Ring came out, and had been lucky enough to have a grandma in the right place at the right time to get her an autographed picture of Legolas. It was her most prized possession, and now the glass was cracked beyond repair.

"It's RUINED!" Lily plopped on the floor and started to cry.

"No, it's not, look, the glass can be replaced, and the picture isn't ruined." I held the frame in front of her, intending to show her that the picture wasn't even scratched, only to have Frodo intercept it and examine it closely.

"Legolas? Has he been here too?"

"No Frodo, he hasn't been here. This is one of those things we'll have to explain to you later."

By now Steve had moved to the edge of the bed and was looming over the hobbits as he peered up into the attic. "What did you do to my house?"

"I...I...I...I'm sorry." Merry said, an expression of fear on his face as he stared up at Steve.

"You may be sorry, but that's not going to fix the hole in the ceiling. Why didn't you step on the rafters, that's what they're there for! Any idiot knows you have to step ON the rafters, and not in between them!" By this time Merry had scooted back as far as he could and was huddled against Frodo. Pippin appeared frozen in fear on the other side of the bed. "Do you know how long it will take to fix this?"

"Steve."

"If you don't know how to treat someone's attic, you shouldn't go up in it!"

"Steve!"

"What!"

"He didn't go up there, that's where he came in."

"No, he just came in that way." It made perfect sense to me.

"What?" Steve sat on the bed, staring at me in bewilderment. "You mean to tell me there's a hole in the roof too?"

Oh how I wished I had my camera. Once Steve had stopped looming over them, and had quieted down somewhat, the hobbits had relaxed. They were lined up in a row on Lily's dust covered bed, almost identical expressions of bewilderment on their faces.

"There's not much we can do with the hole right now. Why don't we go downstairs and eat the pizza before it's totally cold. I'll explain what I mean over dinner."

I should have known. The whole day had been nothing but one mix up, surprise, and disaster after another. By the time we got back downstairs, Midnight had managed to get himself onto the table and was industriously trying to nip open one of the pizza boxes.

"Midnight!" Brittany shrieked as she ran toward him.

Midnight gave a startled yelp and skidded on the table as he tried to get off before Brittany could get to him.

"Eww, dog slobber," JJ exclaimed as he examined the box Midi had been working on.

"Brittany, would you please put him out back. I don't think we want any interruptions. Oh wait." I grabbed the dog's collar as he ran by and was nearly jerked off my feet. "Merry, come here please."

Merry eyed the dog, and me too, with misgiving. Obviously Steve's little tirade had impressed him. Frodo gave him an encouraging nudge and nodded his head. Merry slowly came toward me, still covered in dust, but thankfully unwound from the Christmas lights.

Midnight stared at the approaching hobbit, his nostrils picking up the unfamiliar scent. He bared his teeth in a silent snarl, and Merry froze.

"It's ok Merry, he won't hurt you if we introduce you to him." Merry stared at Midnight, seemingly afraid to come any closer.

"See Merry?" Pippin, eager to help his older cousin, jumped off the barstool he'd been sitting on and hurried over to pet the dog. Midi closed his eyes and huffed happily as Pippin hit a particularly itchy spot.

Merry watched them for a moment, and slowly crept forward. I took his hand and said "Friend Midi. Give him a pat." Merry gently rubbed Midi's head and he leaned forward to press against the hobbit's tummy. For the first time, as he patted the dog's head, it looked like Merry was relaxing.

"Why don't you take him out back Brittany," I said as I released my hold on Midnight's collar. "Oh, and JJ, could you please show Merry to your bathroom so he can clean up some?"

JJ nodded and grabbed Merry's hand as he walked by. I could hear him saying "I'm JJ, and that's my mom and dad. That was cool the way you fell through the ceiling. Can you do it again?" I shook my head and watched the little procession wandered off toward JJ's bathroom. Pippin and Frodo had apparently decided to go along.

"Mom, where am I going to sleep?" Lily had collapsed on the floor in front of the fireplace.

"In your bed. It's not damaged, we'll put clean sheets on it after Daddy covers the hole with something."

Lily huffed in annoyance before standing up and moving to where the plates were stored. "Paper or real?"

"Paper. You might as well get the cups out too."

Watching the hobbits eat the pizza had been a revelation. Once they were convinced that it was edible, they more than did their part to demolish them. In fact, given the enormous amount of food they consumed, I was surprised we had anything left to put in the refrigerator. Luckily I had room in the refrigerator for the two boxes full of assorted odds and ends of pizza and bit of salad that was left over.

I sighed again as I rocked in my chair. At least the evening had wound down fairly easily. While Steve, ably helped by JJ, had put some spare boards over the hole in the ceiling of the girl's room, The girls, hobbits, and I picked up the pieces of ceiling, dusted the furniture, and ran the vacuum cleaner. That had been a revelation to the hobbits! I forgot to warn them that it was noisy before I started it, and they, not expecting the loud sounds, had immediately crawled under the bed. It took some coaxing, but we finally convinced them to come out. By the time I was done with half the room, Pippin had edged to my side and was watching in fascination as it sucked up debris from the floor. The three hobbits took turns finishing the room, while Lily, Brittany, and I watched in amusement.

Thank heavens we'd decided to go with a king sized bed in the guest bedroom. It was easily large enough to accommodate the three hobbits without being cramped. At least they didn't require bed time stories to go to sleep!

"What's on the schedule for you tomorrow?" Steve had entered our bedroom, hair still wet from his shower.

"I don't know. I'll probably take our visitors to the store, JJ doesn't have enough clothes to outfit all three of them for very long."

Steve grinned at me. "I don't envy you on that trip. I can't imagine trying to keep all three of them in line."

"Oh, I don't think it'll be any harder than keeping our kids under control. I figured I'd have Frodo hang on to either Merry or Pippin, and I'd hang on to the other one."

"Good plan." He moved to the window and stood staring out for a minute. "Suz, what's that out by the fence?"

I got out of my chair and came to stand next to him. "Where?"

"Over on that side of the yard." I looked where he was pointing and could see an odd shaped .... hill for lack of a better word....by the fence, near the vegetable garden.

"I have no idea. it doesn't look quite like an armadillo." We watched in silence for a few moments more, before turning to our bed to get some much needed sleep.

5


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